Part one: Where does addiction come from?

Most of us believe that we are stuck with our addictions and that they are part of the human condition from which we cannot be cured. That is an untruth. Chemical and emotional addictions as adults are more likely to have their roots in childhood and stem from feelings of being unloved, punished, hurt, isolated or abused.

Our healthy psychological growth in adulthood is largely dependent on how much our basic needs such as safety, nourishment, validation, love and attention, were met in childhood. An absence of these, i.e. a child left to cry alone all the time may set up a distress pattern in later life. Feelings of isolation and a belief system of "No-one is ever there when I need them, no matter how hard I cry", becomes deeply internalized. The insatiable neediness in that same child becomes sustained in adulthood and may give way to forceful cravings and desires. And so the addictive treadmill begins...

In my workshops, it always surprises people to learn how much self-abusive and repetitive behaviour we all get caught up in, and yet many of us still find it hard to believe that we are addicted.

How many of us reach for the chocolate or the glass of wine when we are under pressure or bored? How many of us mask our self- consciousness at a party by lighting up a cigarette or downing a glass of alcohol very quickly? How many of us ladies go on spending sprees when we are pre-menstrual or simply lonely?

The next time you act addictively, ask yourself; "What feelings am I really hiding right now?" It is only when we learn to recognise that certain underlying moods or feelings such as irritability, frustration, anger, loneliness, rejection or boredom are really what is triggering the addictive behaviour, that we can begin to do something about it. The chemical (or emotional) addiction has simply become the 'comforter', the thing that 'hits the spot' when we want to numb out these unpleasant feelings.

The key to breaking free from our addictions is to face and release the limiting emotions that led to the addictive behaviour in the first place.

From personal experience I know that addressing addictive patterns is not an easy one. It takes acceptance, awareness, the courage to do something about it and the resolve to break free. I have overcome many addictions in my own life by releasing unhealthy thought patterns and by nurturing my own inner spiritual needs. Now in my individual and group work, I try to help others to release theirs.

If we can begin today by accepting this statement: 'the very thing we have used to control our emotional pain, is the very thing which ends up controlling us', then we are one step towards our own healing.

REMEMBER: GIVING UP YOUR ADDICTIONS IS AN ACT OF SELF LOVE.

Jacqueline is a qualified Hypno/Psychotherapist and combines both healing and psychotherapeutic techniques in her own individual and unique style.